Doing what matters 2

In his life-changing book Man’s search for meaning, Viktor Frankl wrote of the three things in which one can find meaning: “(1) by creating a work or doing a deed; (2) by experiencing something or encountering someone; and (3) by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering.“ Behind the second one is love, which he sees as the ’’…the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire […] The salvation of man is through love and in love“

His philosophy of life is simple, yet truly profound and completely applicable in our everyday lives. He developed it out of his incredible life experiences, including the harrowing years of suffering in the concentration camps – his thinking has been as backed and tested by reality as possible. If there were one book I should choose to live by, this one immediately comes to mind.

And yet, as inspiring as I found it, I was yet to truly apply it to my life. One of the things in which I continuously sought purpose was the work I did. Since high-school, I felt that youth activism was something important to me, and I was involved in and/or led numerous projects, organizations, student parliaments, informal groups, protests and so on.

Though I was successful in a number of these endeavours, I failed in many more. In fact, all this time I felt like my successes were akin to weak torches on a dark road: illuminating parts of it, but not really showing where you’re going or whether the road is really the right one – or whether it’s worth being on it at all. There were always some circumstances out of my control that would cause problems, but there are always such circumstances in life and they can hardly be an excuse. The real reason why I couldn’t do something successfully long term was the following:

I never focused on the things that mattered. I couldn’t focus because I didn’t know what truly mattered to me and because I didn’t know how to say No to everything else.

Still, the good thing about ’’not saying No“ is that you’re saying Yes to a lot of new experiences, people and other things. Eventually I ended up doing an experimental English language workshop in December 2008. It was very successful and I felt like I should pursue this road further; so, three months later I did another one. It was here that something special happened:

The workshop got off to a great start and kept getting better. But while the thrill of a successful project was nothing new to me, here I was beginning to feel such intense happiness that it soon turned into exhilaration. It was almost like falling in love, but not in a person – I fell in love with what I did.

I can’t really describe it in any other way. It’s like you have a whole additional source of energy that keeps you giddily enthusiastic and efficient. Everything you do suddenly makes sense and you feel calm certainty about both the present and the future. You develop a new kind of unshakable focus, and you easily say No to things that would pull you away from what matters to you.

This was the first time I felt something like this and I thought it would last forever. I shared my joy with all who would listen, and many noted how different and more confident I seemed; all of a sudden I felt a lot wiser. After the workshop ended, I had a much deserved summer vacation (though it wasn’t really a vacation per se – I was yet to learn how to rest. Yes, I know how to make simple things very complicated) and I couldn’t wait to start new workshops and other projects.

Then came a string of circumstances, some sudden, some subtle, that slowly pulled me away from doing the workshops that mattered to me. Looking back from this perspective, I had strong reasons for the choices I decided to make, and I feel I would be too hard on myself if I thought I should have chosen otherwise. After all, one should always be allowed to make a mistake for the first time.

Besides, these mistakes would contain just the lessons I needed and in the end they taught me a lot, as they always do on the rare occasions when we actually really think about them. But first I had to lose the thing I was in love with and then fall in love in something else entirely.